For the Love of a Sister in Malawi
POSTED ON Nov 09, 2010 / UPDATED ON Jan 27, 2011
Tapiwa, with Auntie Rebecca, has shown improvement in behavior and learning ability in spite of severe brain damage as a baby.
Her condition has improved so much that she now attends school.
Tapiwa smiles with delight while her brother Happy sings worship songs to her.
Auntie Rounia Spoko, house mother at Chitipi Children’s Home, says taking care of Tapiwa is a shared responsibility that the children enjoy.
Tapiwa Maxwell’s face lights up when her brothers and sisters begin to sing to her. Her grin is from ear to ear and she looks them in the face, seemingly grateful for their love and voices. They continue—singing songs that worship God. Nine-year-old Tapiwa beats her hand on the table in time with the melody, humming along as best as she can. “We sing songs to her,” says her sister, Madalo, age 14. “If we sing songs, she’ll be happy.”
Tapiwa was born with brain damage—she cannot talk or walk by herself. She needs help being fed and bathed. She is far from being self-sufficient. As a baby—just six weeks old—she became part of the Children of the Nations (COTN) family at Chitipi Children’s Home in Malawi. Her mother was also mentally handicapped and lives in a social services home. When she gave birth to little Tapiwa, social services came to COTN for help. Now—nine years later—she’s still as much a part of the family as any other of the thirty-nine children who call Chitipi home. “The children treat her well,” says Rounia Spoko, the house mother at Chitipi. “It's good because they are used to her. When Tapiwa is away from the home, they miss her. They feel it—Tapiwa is not here.”
Often in Malawi, mentally and physically handicapped children are left to fend for themselves—with people unsure what to do with them, or some even assuming they are bewitched or cursed. But recently, some people in Malawi have begun to realize these children need to be treated like any other child—with love and attention. At COTN, that’s always the focus. Rounia and her husband, Bruno, who serves as the house father at Chitipi, are both former teachers. They worked with mentally handicapped children before joining COTN. Rounia says she knew Tapiwa needed lots of interaction with other people. Prior to her and Bruno taking over the home three years ago, Tapiwa had one auntie (a helper who lives in the home) who cared for her, fed her, and bathed her. But they changed that when they arrived, thinking it might be better for Tapiwa to interact with many people instead of just one. That change has helped her learning and development progress. “The responsibility for Tapiwa is for everyone,” Rounia says. “Everyone takes care of her.”
That involves just loving her, too. “We help her to walk. We feed her, teach her how to hold a cup and spoon. We teacher her how to eat by herself,” says Adrianna, age 15. “If she sees us playing with her, singing with her, then she thinks, ‘This is my sister, this is my brother.’”
Not only have her siblings given her encouragement and help, but recently, so has her school. Just three months ago, Tapiwa started attending nursery school and Rounia says, with a smile on her face, that she can already see changes in her. “We didn’t know being in a crowd would stimulate her more, but she likes school,” Rounia says. “The teacher is saying when it’s time to play, she is really excited.”
Encouraged from Tapiwa’s new progress at school, Rounia continues to hope for her future—that she might one day walk. She prays for a miracle. “Let her walk and let her be able to touch with her own hands,” Rounia says. “We pray for her, pray that God would do a miracle in her life.” But if that’s not God’s will for Tapiwa’s life—which already has greatly affected all her brothers and sisters at Chitipi—it won’t change their love for their sibling. They’ll continue to bring a smile to her face with their songs. “She is part of the family,” says Rounia. “She is a sibling to the kids and she is our child so having her is a blessing.”
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